shallow end of the pool.

sometimes things happen that is out of our control, like a death for instance. Theres morning we an d. o about it, but we always seem to find awayto blame oneself for it, wanting some sort of relieve. blaming ourself doesn't help us at ball but unity does gives us some sort of comfort to know that the quilt never leaves our mind neither does the memiory of the love one, and today i was awaken tho that moment when Jaxon went under the water thank goodness he was pulled up before anything happened, but it set me back. three me off. i guess my mind gas been on Delilah lately that blayne hasn't been there like usually infact he hadn't been there for while. I guess it because i stop blaming myself for his dealt. which might be good but his third year of his dealt was last month and i didn't do anything. why? i should of done something. i nice his sweet little self the way he smiled. here lately i have become to find myself forgetting his face it has become harder to see his face and i feel terrible. i have been think how selffish i am are the depts off my sole really that shallow? take Delilah for one i moved so fast away from her for my own selfish reasoning. for what tho make a better me?  she won't ever understand that. i guess i May be over thinking this but I have no idea this is how i fell. i left my best friend. i let her down. i have to keep in mind that this is ask going to catch you tho move . i am just moving a few steps ahead of the game. i know one day Apollo this would bee what builds be up. but i can't look that far. i can only hear the words in my head how i wont be Annie you make it in life how I am going to let everyone down. someone once told me that you gotta crash before you soar, and when crash you have to get yourself up. yet i keep craching. i guesse it like riding a bike you crash a lot before you can ride with out a helmet. so i gusse lets ride

xoxo
tiffanyNicole