Eye opener

I was going to write about the jealousy in my heart and how much it sucks to be so jealous all the time, but today my eyes were opened, boys! Yes! Why is it that I want what I can't have why is it that am crazy for the one who isn't crazy for me, why can't I go for one who is crazy for me? I always what what I can't have! If a boy chases me I am Instantly  turned off i  want nothing but to tease, but as soon as they show no interest in me, I go insane! Like what's wrong with me? Why doesn't he like me, and when that happens depression happens. It's stupid I know but it's me! I can't get over the fact that jimmy doesn't like me the slightest bit, like he doesn't want anything to do with me. If jimmy called me telling me he loved me and want a future, and the moment my life would be complete but give a day and I would be over it. Take Dashawn for instant, I Fantasized over the thought of him, only because he always dissed me, made fun of me since I can remember, so when I finally got him to want me, I was over it! Wanted nothing of him, it's all about what I can't have. I was never given the love and affection a child should Receive, so now I Desire it, It is what Foils my heat of passion, the first sight of lust in their eyes I know am the reason for the lust, the affection I am getting is something they throw at me, but yet as soon as I see it I don't want it. I don't understand? Why can't I be happy with one, why do I want someone who doesn't want me? I think it the challenge.
Xoxo
Princess Tiffany